By Harriet Lerner
With wit, knowledge and unusual experience, Dr. Harriet Lerner offers readers the instruments to unravel difficulties and create pleasure, that means and integrity of their relationships. girls will locate existence Preservers (more than 40,000 copies offered in hardcover) to be a useful motivational advisor that covers the panorama of labor and creativity, anger and intimacy, friendship and marriage, kids and fogeys, loss and betrayal, sexuality and health and wellbeing and masses extra.
With new insights and a results-oriented technique, Dr. Lerner solutions women’s most commonly asked questions and gives the simplest suggestion for difficulties ladies face this day:
I constantly decide the incorrect men. may still I stream in with him? I can’t stand my boss. should still I depart my marriage? How am i able to get over his affair? Is my fable irregular? Is my treatment operating? I leave out my mom. I can’t think i used to be fired.
Read or Download Life Preservers: Good Advice When You Need It Most PDF
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Extra info for Life Preservers: Good Advice When You Need It Most
Dealing openly and directly with our differences is a central challenge in all intimate relationships, and it’s never easy. You seem convinced that you must suppress your feelings and keep quiet to preserve the peace. But if you do, you won’t have much of a marriage. More important, you won’t have much of a self. You can’t make Dean relinquish his pornography collection, nor can you convince him to see things your way. Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong / 31 It’s not our job to change or fix our partner, nor is doing so even possible.
He won’t stop being attracted to men simply as a result of committing to you, and you need to confront in your own mind how you feel about this and whether you can accept it. This possibility is not a condemnation of Ken but simply something to keep in mind in contemplating the future of your relationship. No relationship comes with a guarantee, and no one enters marriage with a crystal ball. When uncertainty enters any relationship, it’s a good idea to slow down, keep the lines of communication open, use your head (not just your heart), and always practice safe sex.
The more he distances, the more she pursues. This means that if you continue to pursue Jim for a commitment, he will continue to dig in his heels. Pursuers protect distancers. As long as one person pursues, the other has the luxury of experiencing a cool independence and a need for space. If one expresses all the dependency and neediness, the other can disown these qualities. When a pursuer can back off and concentrate on her own life—especially if she can do this with dignity, zest, 22 / Life Preservers and without anger—the distancer is more likely to recognize his own needs for closeness and commitment.